The Dead Cat
There is a dead cat lying in the road outside of our office window.
“Hey Jack! There’s a dead cat in the road”
“Really? Lets have a look.
Jack rises from his desk across the room and walks to the window.
“Now that is exciting Doolittle. Here we have a situation providing us with some excitement, something to peer at besides the multi-colored balloons dancing around the car lot.”
“I wonder if anyone will run over it again? Its right in the way of the wheel tracks for the lane.”
“Now that is something to think about Doolittle”, replies Jack.
“Yes. That and our view of the car lot will provide enough content for discussion the rest of the day.”
Jack walks back to his desk and returns to staring into his computer screen.
The phone rings a couple of times. There were a couple of emails to answer. A cursory look at the time reminded him that it is still an hour away from lunch.
“Hey Jack. The cat is gone. Someone must have come by and cleaned him up. My guess is Animal Control did it.”
“What? Dolittle; you were too busy to notice? Well, that’s the end of our interesting tidbit for the day. There’s nothing more to discuss besides what’s for lunch.”
Jack looks at Doolittle.
“I bought a fish over the weekend to keep me company.”
“That’s nice Jack.”, Doolittle replies.
“Its a Gold fish.”
“Really? What color is it”, says Doolittle absent mindedly. He is working on something on his computer.
“Its Gold, Doolittle. Most all Gold fish are Gold. I named him Herbie. I was going to call him Nemo but Nemo was a clown fish.”
“So now you have something to do at home Jack, caring for your fish and all, and you have your worms.”
“I haven’t named any of them yet. They aren’t all that friendly. As a matter of fact I can’t find any of them since putting them in their tub. And there are too many. Supposed to be about 1000. Thats what the ad said. They are probably chilling out down at the bottom somewhere. Maybe they’re all dead. No telling. This summer I’ll dump the whole thing outside and start another one.“
“Dump them out? Just dump them out? You are going to just dump them out in the yard?”
Jack notices that Doolittle has donned a sarchastic mantle, thereby spicing the conversation and inviting a creative response from Jack.”
Jack jumps to the challenge.
“Well, no Doolittle. I’m going to sort them out and give each a decent burial whether they are alive or dead.”
“I hope you are more caring about Herbie. What if Herbie dies from neglect? What will you do with him?
“I will give him a decent burial too Doolittle. Yeah! I’ll plant a stalk of corn and give him a decent burial beside the corn, then commence with a little ceremonial funeral dance to send him off to his happy hunting ground.”
Jack returns to his email. The phone rings just as Doolittle turns in his chair and opens his mouth to draw a responding breath...
“Helpdesk Jack speaking.”
“Hi. I was wondering if you could help me.” says the faint voice.
“Yes, I bet I can because this is the help desk, Miss.”
“Well my computer won’t turn on”
“What kind of computer do you have?”, Jack inquires.
“Its digital computer. I think I overheard someone say that’s what it is. Yes, its digital computer.”
“No Miss, I mean what sort is it? Is it a desktop of a laptop?”
“I never hold it on my lap so I would say its a desktop.”
“Well, no Miss. I mean is it one that you could take home with you if you wanted to.”
“Well, if I took it home I would have to disassemble all the wires and things and that is way too much trouble, so I would say, no. I don’t take it home.”
“Ok, so its not what you would describe as portable so that means its not a laptop.”
“I suppose, but I would never put it on my lap. Its on the floor, but the screen is on my desk along with the keyboard. I bet that makes it a floor top rather than a desktop or laptop huh?.”
This is getting interesting and probably worth sharing with Doolittle.
“Miss, I’m going to put you on speaker phone.”
Jack hits the phone button and Doolittle’s interest peaks; he turns in his chair.
“Miss, When did your computer start acting this way?” Jack glances over at Doolittle, smiling at his mounting curiosity.
“It was like this when I arrived this morning.”
“Miss, its almost Noon. What time did you arrive at the office this morning?”
“About 7:30.”
“Miss you waited all this time to call the helpdesk? Four hours? I suppose you were spending that time doublechecking your connections and doing some troubleshooting before calling me huh?”
“Well, no. I phoned you as soon as I could.”
“Miss, are there any lights at all shining on your computer?”
“No, no lights on the computer.”
“Ok. I want you to press the power button and turn the computer on, ok?”
“Ok. Just a minute.”
minutes go by.
“Where is the power button.”
“Its on the big box sitting on the floor. Should be on the front.”
“OK, just a minute.”
Jack glances knowingly at Doolittle.
“I can’t find the power button.”
“Miss, Can you go get someone else to help you with this matter?”
“I would rather not. I’m afraid. I took me all this time to just find my desk and I don’t want to try to find my way out again.”
Doolittle cracks up.
“Miss. Are you visually disabled? Is that why you had trouble getting to your desk?”
“No. Its totally dark in here. I can’t see anything.”
Doolittle falls off his chair.
“What is all that laughing. Sounds like a party or something.”
“No Miss. No party. So you tried the light switch when you walked in the room.”
“That doesn’t work either.”
“Ok Miss. I think your electricity is out.”
“Of course my electricity is out any fool can tell that. What kind of a help desk are you anyway?”
Doolittle is trying to catch his breath.
“Miss, I’m going to call you an electrician. Where are you?”
“I’m talking to you on the phone. Duh! I must be by my phone huh? which is sitting on my desk. Duh. Do you suppose I’m sitting at my desk? What a silly question. Excuse my impatience but I expected a little more help than this. Are you going to fix my computer or not?”
“Well yes Miss. I’m going to call you an electrician if you tell me where you are located.”
“You already asked me that and I told you. Why are you going to call me an electrician? I’m a secretary; a senior secretary I’ll have you know. No need to get shirty with me Young man! The idea! You coming over here and calling me an electrician. I’ve heard of these preversions some people have. I’m a secretary, and not that kind of girl.”
“Mamn. Where are you located? If you tell me where you are located I will send someone to help you.”
“I’ll just bet you will. Is this for sure the helpdesk? I may have dialed the wrong number. You haven’t been much help so I’m wondering if I’m speaking to the helpdesk or dialed the wrong number and got some prevert who now wants to come over and take advantage of me.”
“Mamn. You have nothing to worry about.”
“So now you are insulting me huh?. I’ll have you know Young whippersnapper that I was quite the looker in my day and am still turning down offers. Ok. Not so many offers lately but still...say!
Who are you really?”
“Mamn. This is the helpdesk.”
“Can you come over yourself? If you’re the helpdesk maybe you could show up yourself. You sound nice. Just knock on the door and follow the sound of my voice.”
“No mamn. I am glued to this chair and can’t come over myself.”
“Who glued you to your chair? That’s horrible. Don’t you worry young man. Who is your supervisor. I’ll have a talk with his boss. They can’t do that to you.”
Jack gives up and decides that at least this conversation is at least more interesting than talking about the dead cat. Doolittle eagerly looks on.
“Mamn. Did you know there is a dead cat in the road outside my window?
“Really?”
“Well not now but there was this morning.”
“Oh! That poor thing. How did he die?”
“I think he got hit by a car, Mamn.”
“I’m really beginning to have my suspicions about you Young Man. Well, Duh. Dead cat in the road and you are thinking that maybe he got hit by a car. Maybe he died of kitty Kat lukemia or had a stroke.”
“Mamn, is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Yes! You can fix my computer!!”
“Yes Mamn, If you tell me where you are I will call you an electrician.”
“THERE YOU GO AGAIN.”
There is a dead cat lying in the road outside of our office window.
“Hey Jack! There’s a dead cat in the road”
“Really? Lets have a look.
Jack rises from his desk across the room and walks to the window.
“Now that is exciting Doolittle. Here we have a situation providing us with some excitement, something to peer at besides the multi-colored balloons dancing around the car lot.”
“I wonder if anyone will run over it again? Its right in the way of the wheel tracks for the lane.”
“Now that is something to think about Doolittle”, replies Jack.
“Yes. That and our view of the car lot will provide enough content for discussion the rest of the day.”
Jack walks back to his desk and returns to staring into his computer screen.
The phone rings a couple of times. There were a couple of emails to answer. A cursory look at the time reminded him that it is still an hour away from lunch.
“Hey Jack. The cat is gone. Someone must have come by and cleaned him up. My guess is Animal Control did it.”
“What? Dolittle; you were too busy to notice? Well, that’s the end of our interesting tidbit for the day. There’s nothing more to discuss besides what’s for lunch.”
Jack looks at Doolittle.
“I bought a fish over the weekend to keep me company.”
“That’s nice Jack.”, Doolittle replies.
“Its a Gold fish.”
“Really? What color is it”, says Doolittle absent mindedly. He is working on something on his computer.
“Its Gold, Doolittle. Most all Gold fish are Gold. I named him Herbie. I was going to call him Nemo but Nemo was a clown fish.”
“So now you have something to do at home Jack, caring for your fish and all, and you have your worms.”
“I haven’t named any of them yet. They aren’t all that friendly. As a matter of fact I can’t find any of them since putting them in their tub. And there are too many. Supposed to be about 1000. Thats what the ad said. They are probably chilling out down at the bottom somewhere. Maybe they’re all dead. No telling. This summer I’ll dump the whole thing outside and start another one.“
“Dump them out? Just dump them out? You are going to just dump them out in the yard?”
Jack notices that Doolittle has donned a sarchastic mantle, thereby spicing the conversation and inviting a creative response from Jack.”
Jack jumps to the challenge.
“Well, no Doolittle. I’m going to sort them out and give each a decent burial whether they are alive or dead.”
“I hope you are more caring about Herbie. What if Herbie dies from neglect? What will you do with him?
“I will give him a decent burial too Doolittle. Yeah! I’ll plant a stalk of corn and give him a decent burial beside the corn, then commence with a little ceremonial funeral dance to send him off to his happy hunting ground.”
Jack returns to his email. The phone rings just as Doolittle turns in his chair and opens his mouth to draw a responding breath...
“Helpdesk Jack speaking.”
“Hi. I was wondering if you could help me.” says the faint voice.
“Yes, I bet I can because this is the help desk, Miss.”
“Well my computer won’t turn on”
“What kind of computer do you have?”, Jack inquires.
“Its digital computer. I think I overheard someone say that’s what it is. Yes, its digital computer.”
“No Miss, I mean what sort is it? Is it a desktop of a laptop?”
“I never hold it on my lap so I would say its a desktop.”
“Well, no Miss. I mean is it one that you could take home with you if you wanted to.”
“Well, if I took it home I would have to disassemble all the wires and things and that is way too much trouble, so I would say, no. I don’t take it home.”
“Ok, so its not what you would describe as portable so that means its not a laptop.”
“I suppose, but I would never put it on my lap. Its on the floor, but the screen is on my desk along with the keyboard. I bet that makes it a floor top rather than a desktop or laptop huh?.”
This is getting interesting and probably worth sharing with Doolittle.
“Miss, I’m going to put you on speaker phone.”
Jack hits the phone button and Doolittle’s interest peaks; he turns in his chair.
“Miss, When did your computer start acting this way?” Jack glances over at Doolittle, smiling at his mounting curiosity.
“It was like this when I arrived this morning.”
“Miss, its almost Noon. What time did you arrive at the office this morning?”
“About 7:30.”
“Miss you waited all this time to call the helpdesk? Four hours? I suppose you were spending that time doublechecking your connections and doing some troubleshooting before calling me huh?”
“Well, no. I phoned you as soon as I could.”
“Miss, are there any lights at all shining on your computer?”
“No, no lights on the computer.”
“Ok. I want you to press the power button and turn the computer on, ok?”
“Ok. Just a minute.”
minutes go by.
“Where is the power button.”
“Its on the big box sitting on the floor. Should be on the front.”
“OK, just a minute.”
Jack glances knowingly at Doolittle.
“I can’t find the power button.”
“Miss, Can you go get someone else to help you with this matter?”
“I would rather not. I’m afraid. I took me all this time to just find my desk and I don’t want to try to find my way out again.”
Doolittle cracks up.
“Miss. Are you visually disabled? Is that why you had trouble getting to your desk?”
“No. Its totally dark in here. I can’t see anything.”
Doolittle falls off his chair.
“What is all that laughing. Sounds like a party or something.”
“No Miss. No party. So you tried the light switch when you walked in the room.”
“That doesn’t work either.”
“Ok Miss. I think your electricity is out.”
“Of course my electricity is out any fool can tell that. What kind of a help desk are you anyway?”
Doolittle is trying to catch his breath.
“Miss, I’m going to call you an electrician. Where are you?”
“I’m talking to you on the phone. Duh! I must be by my phone huh? which is sitting on my desk. Duh. Do you suppose I’m sitting at my desk? What a silly question. Excuse my impatience but I expected a little more help than this. Are you going to fix my computer or not?”
“Well yes Miss. I’m going to call you an electrician if you tell me where you are located.”
“You already asked me that and I told you. Why are you going to call me an electrician? I’m a secretary; a senior secretary I’ll have you know. No need to get shirty with me Young man! The idea! You coming over here and calling me an electrician. I’ve heard of these preversions some people have. I’m a secretary, and not that kind of girl.”
“Mamn. Where are you located? If you tell me where you are located I will send someone to help you.”
“I’ll just bet you will. Is this for sure the helpdesk? I may have dialed the wrong number. You haven’t been much help so I’m wondering if I’m speaking to the helpdesk or dialed the wrong number and got some prevert who now wants to come over and take advantage of me.”
“Mamn. You have nothing to worry about.”
“So now you are insulting me huh?. I’ll have you know Young whippersnapper that I was quite the looker in my day and am still turning down offers. Ok. Not so many offers lately but still...say!
Who are you really?”
“Mamn. This is the helpdesk.”
“Can you come over yourself? If you’re the helpdesk maybe you could show up yourself. You sound nice. Just knock on the door and follow the sound of my voice.”
“No mamn. I am glued to this chair and can’t come over myself.”
“Who glued you to your chair? That’s horrible. Don’t you worry young man. Who is your supervisor. I’ll have a talk with his boss. They can’t do that to you.”
Jack gives up and decides that at least this conversation is at least more interesting than talking about the dead cat. Doolittle eagerly looks on.
“Mamn. Did you know there is a dead cat in the road outside my window?
“Really?”
“Well not now but there was this morning.”
“Oh! That poor thing. How did he die?”
“I think he got hit by a car, Mamn.”
“I’m really beginning to have my suspicions about you Young Man. Well, Duh. Dead cat in the road and you are thinking that maybe he got hit by a car. Maybe he died of kitty Kat lukemia or had a stroke.”
“Mamn, is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Yes! You can fix my computer!!”
“Yes Mamn, If you tell me where you are I will call you an electrician.”
“THERE YOU GO AGAIN.”
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